The mean friend and the rain.
When I was about 3 years old I had a friend named Annika. She lived in the same house. If I was going outside I always had to check if she was there first. The problem with her is that she was mean. She used to kick me on the legs just for fun. I had big bruises on them. She would start by asking if she could kick me on the legs and then I always answered no, then she said that if she couldn't kick my legs she was not going to be my friend anymore. She was two years older than me so she had had the misfortune of developing a sadistic sense. Her parents were probably not treating her very well, otherwise children do not naturally act that cruel. Insecure as I was I sometimes let her kick me on the legs because I was afraid of not having a friend. The idea of getting new friends had obviously not hit me. My father caught her once doing this and banned her from the house. I was not allowed to play with here anymore. I was upset by this, because now I had no firend. And I did never got a new friends on that yard either. It was the yard of evil.
I remember once when we were still friends and playing outside and a sudden rain came falling down on us, it fell hard and long and I had never seen a rain like this before. It was like a million fawcetts had been opened and their water poured down on us. When the water hit the ground it bounced back in the air for a few decimeters. We got drained immediately and ran in panick to a carpetrack and hid from the water.
Our parents saw us and came out on their balconys shouting "come in, come in!", but the water poured so hard that we didn't dare. Our parents kept shouting si finally Annika took courage to herself and ran indoors. I was left alone in the rain.
My parents yelled again, but they sounded angry now, the situation was getting hysterical. I thought it was quite fascinating to sit there and watch the rain hit the ground up close. It was like being in a fairytaleworld. I was unsure about going inside since they were angry now, so I must have done something wrong with being here, and I was also unsure about wether the rain was dangerous or not to run through. It looked dangerous and the hysteria in their voices gave the same indication, so I asked "Is it dangerous?" They frist said "no", then "yes", then went back to "come in!". This made me more confused. Did they want me to run throught the dangerous rain? Could I be in more danger if I didn't?
Or was it dangerous? Annika had made it inside safely. After running different probable scenarios in my head I decided to run. While I ran I was creaming out of fear of not knowing wether what I was doing was dangerous or not. I must have liked the feeling, the thrill, because now I often run head over heald into things I don't know anything about, just out of curiosity and sometimes just for the adventure of conquering a new fear. Can I do this? I'm going to find out.
Sometimes I fail, but then I know it's only because I didn't try hard enough, it was not that important, it was just for the ride, to screaming run through the rain again.
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